SHALLOW WOMEN WHO THINK THEY WRITE - ERMA BOMBECK WANNA BE's

From November 03, 2007 ON AIR JUDGE WYLD SHOW - Radio Talk

Excerpt from show prep notes. On air content may have been more or less. Not journalistic or debate notes.

Current day Erma Bombecks fantasies…..

This week Judge found a website. Womens Focus website… I suppose there is a Women’s Focus magazine. I can’t imagine it would be for sale. It’s probably one that is free. It appears to capitalize on a bunch of simple minded ladies without much depth. I’m sure it covers how to dust and great coupon organizing strategies. I don’t know. I didn’t read it.

What I DID read was the online feedback question. It was deeeeeeeeeeep. It was a question that should have all the news channels stopping all other stories to make sure to put this question in front of 300million USA Americans. The question that the editor wanted ladies to write in about was ‘christmas gift giving ideas for their husband.’

Of course only half of a sentence of her thoughts on the subject were actually about her husband. It was all about what she like to receive. Gift cards. So she can go buy what she wants.

The very incredible part about the feedback site..called a BLOG… web log… was that another lady actually wrote HER ideas about the subject. She wrote about how she loves her husband SOOOOOO much that she doesn’t MAKE HIM go to the stores and that GIFT CARDS are what she accepts from him. Afterall, he doesn’t know a blah blah dress from an A-line dress…. So in her loving kindness she doesn’t MAKE HIM go to the store…

MAKE HIM???? MAKE HIM??? So you demand what you want for your birthday and Christmas???

The Editor has left a new comment on the post "What do you want for Christmas?":

I agree with Carolyn on the gift cards. I would love to get clothes but no one can choose them for me. I think Judge has his own issues if he thinks women try to manipulate their husbands. Not so. My Husband is much more thoughtful than I am when it comes to the gift giving. He enjoys it and is finished long before Christmas. I could use some help this years buying for him, and sorry but letting him off the hook for my birthday or Christmas won't work in our case.

[letting him OFF THE HOOK??? WHAT??? You are so generous in telling someone what to BUY YOU???? ]

The key is choosing a gift that your man will want that is within his own desires and interests. Too many ladies will buy items under the guise of a gift but the item is really a hint to the man to go in the direction of one of her interests.

[Give up trying to change him or guide him. A gift is something that has nothing to do with you; it is to be all about him even if his desire is to want nothing. (Oh my! Social faux pas.)]

Dear pathetic Editor: I'm sure you would love to see him in other clothes. Does he dream about that? No!!

Gift cards are the lamest, laziest, non-gift. NO ONE but the poor considers money a thoughtful gift. I could write a column on THAT!

The reason that husbands are difficult to buy for is that they don't care about getting a gift. So WHY DO IT? hmmmm

Gift giving/getting only matters to some ladies. Try this: "Hubby! This year, your Birthday gift will be that this year, I won't want or expect gifts for my Birthday or Christmas." Ladies...guess what? This probably will appeal to your manipulative side because chances are that he WILL find a thoughtful gift for you on those days and he will finally be able to enjoy doing it for you. Amazing huh?

Good luck...remember, to a man, less is more, unless it's in the bedroom.

AFTER A LAME AND DEFENSIVE POST BACK FROM CAROLYN CLAIMING SHE ISNT MANIPULATIVE AND JUDGE WYLD MUST HAVE ISSUES.(OF COURSE HER SELFISH BIG DENIAL ISN’T AN ISSUE IN HER MIND) I WROTE BACK.

JUDGE RESPONSE:
If people would take my gentle and fun advice, their issues with getting and receiving gifts would be solved.

What is clear is that gift-cards are a quaint and uninsulting way to assist a poor person or to pin-in the untrustworthy and is thoughtless or at the kindest, misguided and inefficient as a gift for all others.

Clearly, people buy as they want or need from their pocket all year around. Gift cards are less convenient and are restrictive.

Whether separate checking accounts are used or a true union was formed when the marriage was formed, the money is still coming from the cumulative marital assets (or credit line.)

Let's face it as a mature adult...there is no entitlement to a gift on your birthday or christmas. It is not a gift since you treat it as an obligation of the other person. THAT clears up who has manipulation issues. Right?

Somehow it comes across as if 'it' is 'your gift' even if it doesn't exist yet and in advance you want to direct the gift or 'hey, just give me the cash.'

Men will sometimes tolerate and be yielding but it doesn't mean your expectation is honorable.

I am closer to believing in unconditional love after reading a previous post. I now believe that if he is a smart man and not just 'silly', that he loves you dearly. I'm not so sure from what I read here that it is reciprocated.

I understand you may not know a center link from a tie rod end just the same that the dress types aren't known to real men so I can't address that. (get that? a dress; address? hehehe, ok on with it.)

I just dare you to be happy while not expecting 'your gifts' this year.

"A gift is only a gift if it is given, not taken."


I LEFT IT AT THAT…. THERE WAS ANOTHER RESPONSE TO MY NOTE BUT I HAVEN’T RESPONDED BACK.

Now the Erma Bombeck part of this mess… The two of them fancy themselves as writers. They write cutsy little observations about raising their kids. They put their silliness on the internet. No one reads it… so they band together. So you see, this blog wasn’t popular. It was just one friend who wrote on another friends blog until Judge Wyld brought yellow water down on their fantasy.

These women group together. They BAND together to try to gain some momentum… so these little bands of aimless brainless parentskillless chicks, mothers, looking for some relevance beyond cooking dinner and changing the doilies for the holidays, pretend they are writers and get other clueless lost souls to surround them and waft denial smoke around the group….

I enjoy playing with them and being amused…. Am I bad??? Am I wrong??? It’s quick fast entertainment to me… is that worse than their air and cotton candy emptiness??? I wonder… do you think you are the Erma Bombeck who truly never did amount to anything amongst serious motivated people? I just wonder…COMMENTS?

Sincerely, JUDGE WYLD