Cruel to Ask Single People Dumb Questions about Holidays.

From November 29, 2008 ON AIR JUDGE WYLD SHOW - Radio Talk

Excerpt from show prep notes. On air content may have been more or less. Not journalistic or debate notes.

Today talk about: Dark side of Thanksgiving, Holidays for STUPID People. The MYTH of the HOLIDAYS. SINGLES PERMISSION TO FEEL GREAT on THURSDAY.

The darker side of Thanksgiving….. Not the homeless, not those who have lost their jobs, not the shutins at the nursing home. You won’t sit for an hour to hear about that… You’ve heard it all. You either care or you don’t. I’m talking about the dark side of your family. I’m talking about the dark side of your closest friends. I’m talking about the people YOU know, whom you hang out with. The dark side of Thanksgiving lives right next to you and perhaps the Dark Side live INSIDE YOU!!!!

The RUDE questions prior to the HOLIDAY.

A time for family to hang out with each other. All of the best wishes… all of the insensitive questions. All of the rude people who ask ANYONE they meet if they are ‘going home’ for Thanksgiving or Christmas….

First… Let’s make this personal…. Did you go home for Valentines day? I did. Did you go home for St. Patricks day? I did. Did you go home for Presidents day? I did. Did you go home for July 4^th? I did!!!!!!!! And guess what… I am going home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. As a matter of fact…. Are you going home next Wednesday NIGHT???? I will….. I go home EVERY NIGHT…. Where else would I go?

What if their answer is NO. That phrase… going home for Christmas….

What’s your next ignorant question???? Did you MEAN to be cruel??? Maybe you shouldn’t be so insensitive unless you plan to do something if the answer is NO…..

Maybe your question should have been an INVITATION…. Why take a guess at someone else’s life…. Why box them into an uncomfortable corner??? Maybe you are one of those socially inept Questioners who NEVER offer or have a genuine invitation… maybe you never say anything… you just take guesses at other peoples lives and just try to weasel answers to your curious questions.

After the break…. When you ask about going home for Christmas… what if the answer is NO.

SEGMENT 2

What if the answer is NO… I have no family. My family is hateful. My Family is selfish self involved. My Family is jealous. My family is too poor to travel. No my family is too feeble, weak, and sick to travel.

What if the answer is NO… my family grew up. We now have our own families and lives. We aren’t co-dependent. Our Happiness and our Holiday Success is not dependent on each other. We are healthy and moved on beyond the insecure needy feelings of childish crying or bemoaning that life moves on and the bonds of our youth are now MUCH MUCH more mature.

What if the answer is NO … I just went through a divorce, My husband was hit by a train two months ago, my dad is dying in the hospital of cancer…

What is the answer is NO… I’m too depressed, I’m going to my apartment, lowering myself into the bathtub, and slitting my wrists. I’m planning on sitting on the edge of my bed and blowing my head against the wall with a shotgun…

What about YOUR innocent QUESTION NOW…… So..are you going HOME for Christmas?

You singles out there…. Adult singles. Don’t fall into the holiday mental trap. The fake expectations trap. HAPPY DAYS ARE ANY DAY…. They do not hinge on the one or two days of the year. The HOLIDAY Freaks are out to trash your good life by trying to make you feel left out. THEY are the ones who are in the trap and haven’t matured into full functioning adults…. Codependent on each other for a HAPPY HOLIDAY…. Addicted to false social constructs….

Holidays are for STUPID PEOPLE.

Holidays are for Family… that is what we are told…. But Aren’t we told to appreciate things all year around??? If it is smart and good to appreciate family all year around then why are there one or two days that are set aside to do it? If it is smart then clearly only smart people are visiting mom, visiting their brother, visiting their nephews and nieces, visiting their Grandfather, all year around…. They don’t need a special day to be a good person…. But WE HAVE A SPECIAL DAY…. Therefore there must be stupid people out there…. Stupid people who think it’s a special day. Thanksgiving and Christmas are two days set aside to get stupid people to appreciate their families. It is a holiday for STUPID PEOPLE……

SEGMENT 3

So now… do you feel better that your Thanksgiving wasn’t tied into Let’s address the issue of How Many Families really have that MADE FOR TV MOVIE type of blissful gathering.

How many actually have a long lost brother, or uncle turned homeless, or hooker mom or boozer dad who has been gone 20 yrs and you are being united after all of that time…..

How many have a sibling or other feud that is settled over the spirit of the holidays?

NO…. You stop doing what you LIKE to do…. Remember, if you liked a long boring day of meaningless chit chat you would have done that last weekend… or last month… or last spring…. The ONLY reason you are hanging out is the DINNER…. The guys put up with the social manure to get the good dinner. The chicks who are starved for attention and a BIG EVENT make a big deal out DINNER…. The guys just want the food…..and to oogle the other guys new wife or girlfriend…. The holidays are for flirting with the new women who come to the house for the thanksgiving dinner…..

The first 18 years of your life, you were told and maybe shown that Thanksgiving and Christmas mean a certain thing. You must be with your brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and of course mom and dad on those days. A big dinner MUST Happen. You must sit around and play board games, or cards. Remember, you already spent two to four hours chatting before dinner…. After dinner is for dreaming up dumb things to do with each other. YOU’D RATHER BE SOMEWHERE ELSE DOING WHAT YOU want to do!!!!!!! That was your first 18 years…

But we all know that life is set up in phases….. 18 years then 25 yrs (43) then 20 years(63), then a number of years just to die… that is about 10 to 15 to 20 years….

Just because the first 18 years was the first, it was all you knew up to that point. That doesn’t make it right. That doesn’t make it the ONLY way that those days have to go.

What if you came into this world as a full functioning adult?? And the holiday was spent sleeping later, reading the paper, going for a special bike ride, having a cup of hot cocoa and playing with the dog. Having the freedom that afternoon to work on a hobby with some quiet time with just YOU….. a very good relaxing day….

THEN you had to endure 18 yrs of dumb chit chat with people who don’t understand your hobbies or that you are active riding bicycle and working out. That day is noisy and chaotic and really dumb questions. People eat way too much and then play very lame and lowest common denominator board games or cards….. YOU WOULD LONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS AS THEY USED TO BE>>> quiet… alone…. Useful… invigorating….relaxing.

Single people… think about it. Those ‘family’ people who were too selfish to use their vacation time in the spring or the summer to go visit family… NOW want to make you feel bad if you don’t do ‘family things’ on one particular day of the year. Think about how they wasted their vacation time… doing meaningless things.. taking shallow self indulgent trips…. Now their employer has to give them an additional couple days off to connect with their family.

You know what… It was a Thursday….. Just another Thursday but with a day off of work. Guess what… So was Friday…. What’s the difference?

Singles… permission to have fun on Thursday… it’s a day off of work…. Enjoy doing something YOU want to do… It’s another vacation day from work… ride bicycle… go to the park rollerblading… hibernate under a blanket watching a great movie, start that book you want to write. Jeepers… what do you like to do on a day off…. Go do it…..

Sincerely, JUDGE WYLD