From December 01, 2007 ON AIR JUDGE WYLD SHOW - Radio Talk
Excerpt from show prep notes. On air content may have been more or less. Not journalistic or debate notes.
Traditions. What IS a tradition?
I love a tradition… I am true to traditions. I understand the value of traditions for children and as well for adults. Traditions allow you relax. Traditions allow a person to be sentimental and use their hearts. Traditions are bonding and grow people tighter together. Traditions can be small and they can be big. It seems the small ones are the most meaningful. Dad’s popcorn at 9:30 pm, mom’s roast for Sunday dinner. Whether it’s a tradition on a wedding anniversary of an additional rose in the bouquet, or two one dollar bills in a birthday card from grandma, traditions are very near to my heart and stability. Our family was raised as a very close knit group. We had thanksgiving at home every year. Was there a year or two when we traveled? Perhaps. But the tradition was holidays at home. It was a great gift that our parents gave us. Two adults, five kids, we had a great tradition. After many years of Thanksgiving at home, the routine that we fell into after so many years, became our tradition. The morning parades on tv, perhaps the snow outside, dad having to work the holiday morning to let his employees have the day off, his returning home to his family in time for a huge thanksgiving dinner… NFL on tv that afternoon. Family in the livingroom all day. Racing to put puzzles together. Monopoly games or Yahtzee…. Traditions.
So what happens when the kids grow up? When they get out on their own?
Traditions… remember, the tradition is having holidays at HOME. HOME. We all know that well adjusted children move away from their parent’s house. They have their OWN house. Their own yard, their own dog, their own vehicles. Their own income, their own living room, their own bed, their own bathroom, their own kitchen and their own kitchen table.
Traditionally, they have their own kids and they have their own spouse. So traditions being what they are by definition. The proper and RIGHT place to be on the holidays for that new generation of children is where??? Where should they wake up? The tradition that the adult knew as a child was waking up in their own bed, smelling dinner cooking in their own house, playing with their own board games, eating dad’s popcorn later that night made in their own kitchen… the tradition continues from generation to generation that the great joy of the holidays is passed on.
But there is a problem in some unhealthy families… overbearing parents who haven’t let go. Immature adults who haven’t let go. Those who want to hang on for their own selfish reasons. Dragging your new family that you should be developing HOME holiday tradition with, to your MOM’s or Grandma’s or Aunts house. THEN dragging them to your SPOUSES, mom’s or Grandma’s or Aunt’s house.
How sick is THAT???
How many generations back does this go? Think about it. If you had Thanksgiving at home then that means Your parents were adult enough to move on from their parent’s house to have a healthy family life in YOUR home.
They built a life at HOME for YOU as a child but you didn’t do the same for YOUR kids. You are the ADULT…don’t tell me that your parents or your parent’s parents made that healthy decision but for a generation or two the kids couldn’t let go and go out to make their own traditions.
When will it get back to a Thanksgiving at HOME…. When grandma dies? and your kids have already out grown their innocence and time to start a childhood tradition in their own home, their own bed, their own boardgames, their own kitchen table???
Our family grew up. Now we each have our own families... we always had Holiday's at home growing up and they continue the tradition by having holidays at their homes and I continue the tradition by having holidays at my home.
every once in a while I travel or they travel but mostly we are traditional family people meaning we wake up in our own bed and have holiday stuff with our family.
:) When someone says home to an adult, it means where they live. where they've made their own home. For kids, home is their parent's place cuz that is where the kids live. :)
We were raised as a close knit family but independent thinkers, so those with kids continue that tradition of having a close knit family at their homes. Some parents have trouble letting their kids go and it is hurting the kids growing into adulthood in their mid twenties. Our parents raised us as close knit but let us go and grow which takes even more love and unselfishness to do....
Every 18 to 20 years a growing up has to occur. So when someone at work asks you, “Are you going HOME for Thanksgiving?” “Are you going HOME for Christmas” and you are going to your parent’s place but you answer “ YES”…. I pity you.
If you and your children don’t feel at home wherever you are living, I pity you.
If that special place that you want to be when the holidays come around is not your own house. I feel sorry for you for the rest of the year. I can delight in that you will feel great somewhere else… I want you to be happy. But be happy all year around and visit family all year around.
I am thankful every day. I love my family all year around and can make time to visit them. During the holidays, they make it a joyous childhood for their kids, in their own home, bonding their children together.
Someone I know who is in his forties used to travel to two states in one day for two full meals. Her parent’s house and his parent’s house. They dragged their kids around every single holiday. Luckily in the same year they both grew up, grew strong, and decided together to not do that any more. They used each other for strength and they did it.
Check your family. Healthy adults? or codependent on the Holidays. Ripping their kids away from Thanksgiving or Christmas morning waking up in their own beds.
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