GREAT STORY - THREE WHITE 'CHINESE' KIDS DISRUPTED SANTA CLAUS ON HIS RED BUS OF CHILDREN

From December 20, 2008 ON AIR JUDGE WYLD SHOW - Radio Talk

Excerpt from show prep notes. On air content may have been more or less. Not journalistic or debate notes.

Santa double decker open air bus looking thing… Santa all red and fluffy white… black boots and belt… the BUS was RED. Santa would hand small candies to hand out…. It would pick up children downtown on the main street.

Main street had changed from old time angled parking to parallel parking…. The Red Open Air Bus would load up…. You could see the tops of kids’ heads and Santa standing… He’d wave to kids along the street…They’d call out to him. The bus would circle a 6 block or so area…slowly. Load up more kids….

Along one of the side streets was still angle parking… and mom had an errand to run on Saturday…maybe to run into the drugstore to buy a present.

Drugstore is now a Pharmacy.

Drugstore, Main Street Discount Store, A Department store, Hardware store, Grocery Stores, Post Office, Jewelry Store, Insurance Man, Newspaper office, bowling alley. We actually had an airport and an AIRLINE…. Dad was in charge of the AIRLINE. Simple…

Mom left the car angle parked near the corner of main street with three of us in the car…. Me, and my two sisters, one older, and one younger than I. As kids we often acted up… often thought we were funny…. So we hatched a plan….with our car windows open, with the Santa open air RED bus SLOWLY approaching… the plan was to act like we were arguing…all three of us…..arguing..then louder, then hitting each other, then LOUDER, ……. And the kicker…. The real clincher……. Was that for that small town, that we would pretend we were arguing in CHINESE….. not one word of CHINESE was known by us… so as the RED DOUBLE DECKER OPEN AIR BUS WITH SANTA STANDING IN THE MIDDLE WITH KIDS ALL AROUND HIM….Listening to SANTA HOHOHOHOHOHO and what do you want for Christmas little girl… microphone with speaker system…booming HOHOHOHOHOHO….

As the bus slowly approaches…. Three white dumb kids start faking CHINESE arguments…getting louder…. And kids start looking over the bus edge… and Santa keeps booming HOHOHOHOHO…. And none of the kids were paying attention to him any more….

Us Three kids start chopping at each other like Chinese CHOPS….. and wailing in fake Chinese and chopping and faking pulling hair…. .of course we spent most of our fights around the house ACTUALLY pulling hair…. But we were in this caper together!!!!!

Santa booms…. Over the big booming speaker system on the bus, Kids…. DON”T FIGHT… KIDS…. KIDS…. KIDS!!! And the bus driver kept driving… slowly… around the corner…Santa turning to keep an eye on us and telling us NOT TO FIGHT… and the bus kept going around the corner and down the street…. So we stopped…and laughed and laughed and replayed the event in our laughter to each other. We calmed down some before mom came back… and mom didn’t know… which was just the right period to the event….

We had pulled it off… The great memory for all of the children on the RED Santa Claus BUS to remember… that the white Chinese kids were killing each other and screaming in a language they didn’t know…. The great Chinese kids memory of the Early 1970’s….in my hometown….. Perfectly raised strictly Lutheran angels…. Taking advantage of Santa and taking all his kids attention away from him…..

Sincerely, JUDGE WYLD

http://www.youtube.com/judgewyld